Memoir of Our Mother, Parameswari

There is no life that does not call for Amma.

In Kondavil, that corner of Sri Lanka that delights the eye, Parameswari, the eldest daughter of Ponniah and his wife Sothipillai, was born on the 8th of December, 1931. Along with her were born one elder brother, two younger brothers, and four younger sisters.

At the age of 18, Parameswari married Aiyathurai, who was 19 years older than her, the man from Chankannai known by the given name Aiyathurai and by his pet name Selvam. She joined the household that would be her lifelong home.

When Parameswari gave birth to her second child, Sothipillai her mother had her last daughter, a time when two generations of mothers welcomed new life together.

Together with her husband, she managed every chore the shop required, she raised each child in the family with care and dignity, and she watched them grow in health and honour. In those days before electricity, every event took place by the light of an oil lamp, and for cooking three times a day dried wood was the indispensable fuel.

There are countless stories the children tell when they try to describe their mother, and even when they recount them casually, those stories become unique and radiant. No matter what hardships she faced, she carried them without complaint, a forbearance and maternal strength that defined Parameswari.

In an age when many shed tears at the idea of raising a single child, she raised ten children, and words cannot praise a mother who did so. Many times there were quarrels and arguments at home, yet even if she went back to her parents’ house, none sought to separate her family; she lived as an example for younger generations, proud to have cared for ten young ones.

With heavy hearts we remember the day she left us, on the 24th of July 1995, at the age of 63, before her own mother. A parent’s grief at seeing a child die before their eyes is a cruelty beyond measure. After both their parents’ passing, the loss of their dear brother was an irreparable grief for the nine remaining children.

This is a humble attempt to record her life. If there are shortcomings, please forgive them, and kindly overlook faults and offer your compassion.

Written by: SakthiSadacharam Aiyadurai
Translated by: Jasivan Sivakumar